Librarian: [makes meowing sounds because there's a cat in the story]
Five-Year-Old: You know, that's not half bad!
[Entire group of five-year-olds proceeds to attempt to imitate Librarian's meowing]
Eight-Year-Old: You know, this story's really good, actually.
Librarian: [reading from 'Beatrice Doesn’t Want To' by Laura Joffe Numeroff] Beatrice didn’t like books. She didn’t like to read. She didn’t even like going to the library.
Five-year-old A: [shocked/horrified gasp]
Five-year-old B: [disapprovingly] This is NOT a good book.
[While reading 'Stuck' by Oliver Jeffers]
Kid 1: Oh my God, NO. Don’t throw the cat!
Kid 2: Where did he even GET an orangutan?!
Kid 3: How’s he even lifting that house?!
Kid 4: He obviously has superpowers like Superman if he can do THAT.
Kid 3: Yeah. Superpowers. Definitely.
Librarian: I wonder how they’re gonna get everything down if even the firemen got stuck.
Kid 5: Call the police. They wouldn’t get stuck ‘cause they’re smart.
Librarian: Does a kangaroo have a mother too?
Librarian: [while reading aloud a book involving the beach] I like going to the beach.
Five-year-old: Me too! I've been to the Bahamas!
Librarian: Oh, I want to go to the Bahamas!
Five-year-old: Then go! It's only two plane rides, six hours.
[While reading a lift-the-flap book, when a turtle is revealed to be under a rug]
Three-Year-Old: [GASP] Is a tuttle!
Librarian: Would you share a $500 dollar gift card with your siblings like Kyle did in the story?
Kid 1: Yes, because I have the best siblings in the world.
Kid 2: No! I hate my brothers, I wish they’d stay in the basement all year long.
Librarian: And the Big Bad Shark said “Little fish! Little fish! Let me in!”
Five-year-old: Nuh uh!
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